The Barbie Code
Mattel's Barbie is Mastermind in World-Wide Espionage Network
A few months ago, a crypto device has popped up that no one would have expected
to exist. It is a typewriter distributed by the US toy company
the supporters of Barbie.
After thourough reverse engineering and help from our international network,
we discovered the inner secrets of this typewriter.
This children's toy appears to have a secret built-in crypto mode.
Although there are no hints about this hidden mode in the manual,
it is actually present in four different models.
Crypto Museum did some social engineering and found out that Barbie does exist
for real. After extensive investigation, we discovered that Barbie is a true person
and that she is actually quite intelligent. In an attempt to unravel the secret
life of Barbie, Crypto Museum has teamed up with researchers and collectors from all
over the world, and are now able to reveal some facts.
An FBI official revealed to us off-the-record at the
Friederichshafen HAM radio show 2015
in Germany, that Barbie actually knows the number π (3,14159265...) for no less than 2000 digits!
To our knowledge, there are four different models
of the popular Barbie typewriter. Austrian collector Günter Hütter
has so far been able to get his hands on three of these models and to our
great surprise, the models are compatible with each other and they each have
The image on the right shows that Barbie really exists,
but one has to be careful, as there are numerous look-alikes out there
'in the field'.
According to the FBI, the
NSA initially wanted to use Mattel
as a covert company to distribute cryptology to countries with dubious regimes.
The typewriter shown above proves that this is true. Investigations have shown that Mattel
does not have an export licence to distribute crypto as such, so it must
have been done with help from the NSA.
Fact is also that the type writer is made by Mehano in Slovenia,
a former Eastern Block country.
It is also quite strange to see Barbie wearing numerous extremely expensive clothes.
No one has a clue where she pays it all from. As Barbie seems to have no regular
income, this leads to more questions about here true nature.
The secret Barbie typewriter with its hidden features has meanwhile
turned up in many countries around the world, including India, China,
Germany and Australia. In the latter case, it was actively being
hinting to something much bigger than just a simple innocent children's toy:
This clearly proves that there is more going on than just Barbie, Ken and
an expensive lifestyle. It hints to something unimaginable: Barbie's
involvement with cryptography
and the international espionage scene.
It has meanwhile become clear that the activities may still be going
But there is more: the FBI whistle blower also revealed that little
children are used to help distribute the secret messages. In fact,
they appear to be the backbone of Mattel's secret network.
The children created the messages using the
hidden cryptographic features
of the typewriter (which is why they are not mentioned in the
manual) and sent them via regular mail, a method that is quite easily
forgotten these days.
In the UK, the letters where delivered in the
red vans of the
General Post Office (GPO), like the one shown on the
right, and delivered by the regular inconspicuous uniformed mail man.
By using innocent children as part of an international espionage
network, the NSA must have thought that their activities would go
unnoticed, but documents leaked by NSA whistle blower
have meanwhile revealed that the network has been compromised
by the Russians and has been turned against the US,
as will be unraveled in the next paragraph.
A source at the NSA who wishes to remain anonymous, revealed that although
they were born in the US, both Barbie and Ken are Russian spies and that
their real names are Svetlana and Boris. They have been living and working
in the US onder cover of false identities. The NSA spokesman also suggested
that the Fox TV-series 'The Americans'
is based on the lives of Ken and Barbie .
Like in the TV-series, Ken and Barbie are living their lives as real
American citizens, complete with a nice house and a decent job.
They are fully integrated into today's society,
whilst in the meantime they are spying and murdering for the Russians,
something they have been doing since their introduction to the
Americans in 1959 .
During the first part of 2013, Barbie and Ken, or should we say: Boris
and Svetlana (?), have been under FBI surveillance for nearly six months.
A coughing man in a raincoat, in an abandoned parking garage,
has meanwhile passed us a USB memory stick that gives us a revealing insight into
their no-doubt exciting unorthodox lives.
VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED
Some pictures might be shocking, so we should warn the viewer before continuing.
The following images are definitely not suitable for children below the age
The first image on the disc shows a rather messy kitchen with Ken and
Barbie involved in some compromising activity.
It is currently unclear when this picture was taken.
On the memory stick we also found a directory named 'BRIBE' in which
the even more revealing images are stored. It shows us how Barbie,
with help from Ken,
puts people in compromising situations, with the intent to make them
submissible and gather sensitive information from them.
The covertly recorded FBI image on the right shows how the couple tricked
a UK Member of Parliament
(MP) into a comprising situation. In the bathroom of their London
appartment, which is ridden by
and spy cameras,
Barbie 'accidently' finds Ken in a compromising
situation with the MP and photographs the two.
The MP, who is married with two young children, is later confronted
with the photographs and is 'persuaded' to pass sensitive information
about the current US-UK relations with respect to the US'
XKeyscore mass surveillance
This method of gathering sensitive information is not new.
It has been the modus operandi for the Soviets since the beginning
of the Cold War  and has been the plot for many spy movies during
the 1960s and 70s. The method is also described in Keith Melton's
book Ultimate Spy , as one of the four reasons for
becoming a spy, commonly identified by the acronym MICE.
Apparently Barbie has taken the photographs with her new iPhone and the
FBI has since been involved in a fierce fight with Apple in order
to let them (the FBI) break the phone's encryption.
Although Apple has consistently refused to help, the FBI now claims to
have broken the code .
The memory stick is full of pictures of cruel murder scenes
involving Barbie in liquidations and kill-for-pleasure, something the
general public would never have expected from her. Click the thumbnails
below for some horrible examples. The full memory stick will be released later.
Although Barbie was initially recruted as a spy by the
US Central Intelligence Agency (CIA),
she is now on the FBI's most wanted top 10. The FBI has put out an international warrant for
her arrest, but experiences great difficulty in identifying her. Despite the NSA's
XKeyscore program and their Advanced Face Recognition System (AFRS), neither agency has
so far been unable to locate her.
According to documents leaked by NSA whistle blower
the NSA has invested billions in its highly sophisticated facial recognition
system AFRS, but their priceless system now seems to have been defeated by the
thousands of Barbie-look-alikes on the planet that all have identical face
characteristics. The FBI now calls to the public for help.
Have you spotted Barbie?
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© Crypto Museum. Last changed: Saturday, 03 September 2016 - 12:15 CET.